Sweet Sixteen: Happy Anniversary, et al

Not about farming. Pictured here is a dahlia on our front deck. Bob grew it.

I repeat: this is not about farming. It's a love letter to my partner (I call him my husband, but let's face it: we're "hitched but not churched"), Bob Churchill. If you don't want to read something sentimental, please avert your eyes. Or go find a new blog from my Bloglines subscriptions and entertain yourselves there. (And a prize to anyone who can tell me how to make them alphabetical order: something on Bloglines burped a few months ago, and they're wacky.)

Long before Match.com and eHarmony, when hardly anyone even had e-mail, there were personals ads in newspapers. Sixteen years ago yesterday, I answered Bob's ad: I was one of three dozen women to do so. (They told him the average man got three or four responses.) And as Bob put it, "One response glowed like a ruby among garnets." He said he "knew" when he held my envelope.

We wrote three letters back and forth before we finally met, and within a month, fell in love.

Reasons this man is my hero and my love?

1) The garden: our biggest, most prolific ever, which started in our first home together on the back deck. Two tomatoes, one rose (Sexy Rexy), and some begonias.
2) Roaring laughter. ROARING.
3) Family lexicon—those little phrases that creep into your everyday speech. "Just the ONE, dear?" "Mega-Turbo!" "Chard pancakes!" "I yuv you yachts!"
4) Constant and truly unconditional love. Even when he looks like he's mad at me.
5) He's the best explainer in the world. If you're lucky, you'll get to see this in action some time: he can deconstruct ANYTHING, to a child or to the most erudite scholar.
6) Tea in the morning. Every morning. Every morning, one of us wakes up first and makes tea for us both. He's usually sleepier, but can get the bags and water in the cups, and by then I can bring us the steeped, sweetened tea. Tea solidified the budding romance: we don't do coffee. We drink tea. We sip tea, him with his eyes closed, until the tea blows away the sleepiness.
7) The gentlest touch. I will never forget the time, so many years ago, when his younger daughter (seven then) held out her palm with a splinter in it, watching her daddy take it out. They could have been looking at a baby rabbit. "Daddy always takes our slivers out: he's the best."
8) Manning the grill. The Meat Man. It's my kitchen, but it's his grill. But while we're at it, let's look at #9.
9) The man rolls the tightest burritos in the world. How useful it was to have lived through the Seventies and know how to roll a joint! (Did I just lose a reader? Buh-bye!)
10) His voice. It's gravelly and warm and deep and strong. His is the voice of a man who is never hesitant, who is never at a loss for what to say, but he doesn't talk much, either.
11) The man knows exactly how to tell a story. If he could type as well as he could speak, his blog would kick your blog's ass.
12) He can fix and build anything.
13) He's a professional by nature and by his bearing. He's well-spoken, well-read, and is rarely anything but composed.
14) He is the repository of more knowledge about music and films and history than just about anyone I know. And he can put anything into context.
15) Family man. The most dedicated, hard-working, devoted father and grandfather I could imagine. Even when his X took the girls camping six years in a row on Father's Day, even when we didn't see the girls for months or years, he never stopped working hard for them (and paying for everything), and never stopped loving them enough to tell them the truth. Which brings us to #16, the best of all.

Without Bob, Logan would be drifting in a pretty scary world right now. And because Bob has been his champion, and puts a roof over our heads, our little family is safe. (Relatively. It's a pretty scary world, anyway, out there.) Logan has healed so many of the wounds we've sustained over the years, and has brought joy and light to our lives that is immeasurable—it's like it's his job and his purpose in life to love as many and as big as he can.

We celebrated by going to Gabriella Café, sharing halibut and some grilled Romano beans from a local farm. (My guess, Dirty Girl, but I could be wrong.)

• • • • • • • • • • •

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “Of life's two chief prizes, beauty and truth, I found the first in a loving heart and the second in a laborer's hand.” —Kahlil Gibran

And I found both in Bob.

• • • • • • • • • • •

Deepest condolences to one of the great food bloggers in the world, Cookie Crumb ("I'm Mad and I Eat"), whose nephew was killed in Afghanistan.

Thanks for visiting.

Comments

[Clare]

Thanks for that wonderful post...it's good to be reminded sometimes of the love that exists in the world.

[cookiecrumb]

I'm doubly touched, Tana. Wow, what a surprise, weepy ending!!!
I was just gonna say something snarky like asking whether Bob puts the tightly rolled objects inside his mouth to give them a good, spitty seal. Because I'm not eating his burritos if he does.
Happy Anniversary. Such joy you two share.

[Anita]

Behind every great blogger there's a wonderful spouse/partner/sous chef. :)

[Cathy]

Lovely, Tana. Happy anniversary to you and Bob, and hugs to Logan.

[Anneliese]

Awww, wonderful! I love to hear love stories, so thank you so much for sharing yours!

Here's to 16 more, but it seems, as you have shown in your writing, it's all about each moment of each day.